Monday, May 6, 2013

Google + Pregnancy = *-*

There are always things you should never mix. Like, email + wine + (insert a person who has pissed you off), or beer before liquor never sicker. And I would like to add: pregnancy + google.

I'm not gonna lie, this past week was difficult. My calf was keeping me from running, my normal outlet to keep me sane and feeling like a human. I was walking a ton, and even tried the elliptical! Gasp! I know, it was boring for me, too! But I needed to sweat, I needed to zone out and I jumped on the thing and was reminded very quickly what a boring, draining machine it is. 30 minutes felt like an eternity.

I'm also not gonna lie and say that pregnancy is all rainbows, sunshine and unicorns all the time. Again, gasp! I know! I had 10 weeks of horrid morning sickness that left me vowing that I would never, ever, do this again. But then the sun did come out, and I was in a great stage of pregnancy where you feel awesome, practically don't even feel preggo and pretty much back to my old pre-pregnancy self. But then last week happened and I had another bout of morning sickness, wasn't able to run and I was thrown off my horse again. 

The other element to all of this, is that my body is changing so rapidly. I know I documented on here how I went from an over weight smoker to a 3:04 marathoner, and how I vowed I would never, ever, let myself get back to that place. But pregnancy brings on a whole new set of changes (and a giant pile of hormones!) that I really never thought I would see again. Sure, everyone tells me I look "cute" pregnant (thanks for all of that you guys!) and that I have that "pregnancy glow" shinning from me, but when I look down at myself and have a hard time seeing my toes now, it is hard to digest. I went to the doctor last week and saw that I had gained 8 pounds and also saw a number on the scale I hadn't seen in years. YES! YES! I KNOW! You gain weight during pregnancy, you just can't escape it if you want a healthy baby and mommy at the end. But it is still hard to see it creep up and watch yourself change - and the change feels like it happens so quick. When I originally saw my doc, he said he wasn't going to be focused on the number on the scale, that if I only gained 10 pounds and baby and I were healthy, he wouldn't worry. But he also warned me that because I started on the "low end of the scale" I may gain more than some. Ugh.

Last night the hubbs wanted to go out to dinner. Awesome, I didn't want to cook anyway! Before he came home though, I was on blogger and visiting some blogs I had abandoned for a while. I came across this old favorite blog and saw that in the time I was gone he himself had a beautiful son with his wife! Yayyy! (Congrats Stevo!) Then I wandered over to his wife's blog who was a pretty accomplished triathlete herself. Much to my luck, she had blogged through her pregnancy! Yayyy! I dove in, reading all the way back to when she first got pregnant. Finally, one that was honest. She didn't sugar coat things. She tells her story as it happened, the ups, the downs, and finally being able to complete a marathon she signed up for when she was pregnant & running on the morning she went into labor. As I read though, I got more and more scared. She was a fit, beautiful woman before she was preggo, and seeing how her body changed (and yes, it was/is beautiful still!) got me worried. Things are going to change, it isn't going to be easy the whole way, and I finally needed to see that. So thanks Pharmie - your honesty is just what I needed. After all of this though, I felt like garbage. Like I said, google + pregnancy is not a good combo. I started searching for other pregnant runner blogs, tips to keep running while pregnant and so on. Some of it was helpful, others just plain scared the living crap out of me. By the time my hubbs got home, I was a mess. Add to that, my pre-pregnancy pants aren't fitting too well and it was a recipe for disaster that I couldn't even wash away with a celebratory Cinco de Mayo margarita.

On Saturday I finally had a pain-free run! Before I ran I "sticked" the crap out of my calf, rolled like crazy and headed over to the gym. I have been sticking, foam rolling, icing, epsom salt bathing like it was my job. My coach suggested I start off with a run/walk so I did a one minute walk warm-up then followed by 14x5 minute run with a one minute walk in between. I felt great! My calf was a little sore, but it wasn't bad! Yes! I did 7.3 miles and finally felt like myself again. The one thing I did notice though, was I started to feel that "belly" of mine while I ran. In the two weeks I had pretty much taken off running, it grew and it was finally noticeable to me. I was a little sore at the bottom of it, and think I may have to start looking into one of these things: warning - they are NOT pretty! More like, "what human being thought up these contraptions? Oh, right, probably a man!"

Gah, that is NOT attractive at all! And yes, I plan on wearing pantie hose with mine.
 
Doesn't she look happy?
 
Or my favorite
Sexy and supportive! The hubbs is voting for this one, obvs.
 
 
Apparently the top one works the best and got the best reviews from running mothers. But why, oh, why, does it look so uncomfortable and unattractive??? Many also said to wear it on top (yuck!) of your running clothes. Great, now I can show the world my belly and an awesome velcro support belt that screams "she's pregnant!" I may need a few more weeks to digest this, or it may come sooner than I anticipate. Really, more than a fashion statement, I want to keep running, and if that ugly belly band keeps me running, then sign me up! (note: the enthusiasm in that statement is my attempt to build up the courage to actually hit "add to cart" on amazon)
 
I'm in a much better state then I was last night. God help my poor hubbs. I am sure this won't be the last time my hormones get the best of me. And I'm still in the "early" stages of this pregnancy! In fact, Saturday afternoon, as I was reading my book on breastfeeding, I got all teared up and crying as I read about it, and then seeing the pictures of nursing mothers! Cue water works! Who does that? Oh right, pregnant, hormonal mothers who are completely overwhelmed.
 
Sorry if the above paragraphs or pictures make you want to down a whole month's worth of birth control pills, or better yet, get yourself sterilized. I understand, I probably would have done the same thing a few months back. But I'm vowing to keep this honest and keep you all in the loop of how one goes from marathon running to motherhood (and "fingers crossed," back to marathons). Hopefully I will continue to find that happy balance in between, and also learn my lesson of staying off google while pregnant - especially when my hormones are at a particularly high level :)
 
Off to read some great race recaps! So many PR's! Congrats to all of you who ran Pittsburgh, OC Marathon, and so many others!
Happy Running!
 

7 comments:

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

Those ulgy things do help at keeping things still while you run which will help now and when you are working on getting that lean fit body back to pre-baby status. Which I know you will do!

Remember to stay positive and healthy. If you need to vent, remember I've been there and understand things from a shared point of view. Love and miss you! We might we coming to the west coast in July. fingers crossed I can see you.

X-Country2 said...

Oh, girl. I was SO there! Pharmie's blog was great, wasn't it? Bummer she was pregnant after me. And how cute is Henry??

If you're looking for another story, I blogged and ran through my (twin) pregnancy too. (http://crosscountrysquared.blogspot.com/2010/01/guess-what.html) Including the time time I bought a prenatal! That thing was super dorky, but it WORKED.

I remember thinking everything you just blogged about. Oh the uncertainty, oh the questions, oh the hormones! But I can promise you that you'll be back and better than ever.

All my PR's were set post-babies. Granted, my latest one yesterday is over 52 minutes slower than your marathon time, but you see my point. :o)

I'll also throw out (in the least obnoxious way possible), that my bod snapped right back. I'm thinner and fitter than ever. I run in sports bras and swim in bikins all the time. Some of this is genetics and luck, but I credit much of it with running before/during/after being pregnant.

It's shocking to see the numbers rise on the scale and know there's nothing you can do to reverse it. They'll rise, but they'll fall again soon.

Good luck to you. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is happy, healthy, and active. :)

X-Country2 said...

Oh, girl. I was SO there! Pharmie's blog was great, wasn't it? Bummer she was pregnant after me. And how cute is Henry??

If you're looking for another story, I blogged and ran through my (twin) pregnancy too. (http://crosscountrysquared.blogspot.com/2010/01/guess-what.html) Including the time time I bought a prenatal cradle! That thing was super dorky, but it WORKED.

I remember thinking everything you just blogged about. Oh the uncertainty, oh the questions, oh the hormones! But I can promise you that you'll be back and better than ever.

All my PR's were set post-babies. Granted, my latest one yesterday is over 52 minutes slower than your marathon time, but you see my point. :o)

I'll also throw out (in the least obnoxious way possible), that my bod snapped right back. I'm thinner and fitter than ever. I run in sports bras and swim in bikins all the time. Some of this is genetics and luck, but I credit much of it with running before/during/after being pregnant.

It's shocking to see the numbers rise on the scale and know there's nothing you can do to reverse it. They'll rise, but they'll fall again soon.

Good luck to you. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is happy, healthy, and active. :)

Redhead Running said...

I appreciate you keeping it real about the pregnancy because thus far, you've hit topics I feel like I will also struggle with when the time comes. Wishing you well and lots of good days. xoxo

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

YOu wear the belt over a thin tank and one on top, you will be sweaty but it will be relatively hidden. All your thoughts are valid...but having been my THINNEST in my life after 2 kiddos I can tell you that this is a short time for you to embrace that which is being prego. There are more downs that ups a lot of times, but soon you will have a 5 year old and hardly remember the tough times. Hugs to keeping it real and trying to focus on the positive!!

Beth said...

So many things you mentioned in this post hit home!
As a formerly large lady (almost 300lbs!),now a fit mom of 3 and runner...pregnant or not, I know the toll that gaining even a single lb can take mentally! Yes, you are prego, and need to gain weight, and should be gaining weight, but I understand the mental and emotional side of gaining when you come from a past that involves being heavy/unhealthy. Thanks for the honesty!
I will also say I'm a mom of 3, and eventually things get back to normal! Right now, you are supposed to be an emotional, hormonal mess! It's part of whole pregnancy package. Like you said, not all rainbows, but in the end, you'll end up with more good days than bad, and that'll get you through! That, and stop googling, lol.

Paul Rodman said...

Happy Mothers day!

Don't worry, you'll do fine and you'll be back down to 3 hour-ish marathons soon enough.

I remember Paul Radcliff saying she felt stronger after she had her first.

-p