Running Blues

I think I'm not alone in this, in fact I am sure I'm not alone in this.  But lately this week I have noticed I'm in kind-of a funk.  I couldn't quite pin point it, but I knew I just wasn't feelin' like my normal positive self.  I even went back and read my Big Sur Marathon recap and could tell my heart was just not in it.  I think I have a case of the running blues.

In case you're not familiar with this, and lucky if you're not, the following signs are classic examples of the running blues:
1. Just finished a big marathon and are sad that the excitement, build-up and training is over.
2. May have missed the time goals of above mentioned marathon which leads you to start rethinking why the heck you run at all.
3. Really want to go out and run but have no desire to lace up your running shoes - which by the way were last worn in your marathon.
4. You can spot every runner within a half mile distance and wish that was you.
5. Even shopping for running gear/clothes on line has lost its luster.

Now don't go worrying about me too much my friends.  I think I'm in this funk because like example #2, I had big expectations for myself and I fell short - way short.  I know I was dealt a really crappy hand for Boston, and then attempting to run a difficult course just six days later was not ideal, but when you train so hard and have a pretty decent training cycle, to have it all come up short can be a big blow.  I know I accomplished a lot.  Marathons 5 & 6 are done!  And I even pulled off times some only ever dream of.  But even all this self talk and reminding myself of what I did accomplish only goes so far before your mind wanders back to what could have been.

My legs are feeling pretty good this week.  I wasn't really too sore on Monday.  I was by no means in a position to run on Monday, but I wasn't necessarily feeling like I had just ran a marathon, or just ran a second marathon in just six days.  I can think back to my first few marathons and how sore I felt for days.  Maybe it was the "newbie" in me, maybe it was how I recovered right after finishing, but whatever the difference from then to now is, I definitely don't feel like I just ran a marathon and I"m disappointed in that.  In the moments after finishing on Sunday, I felt like I had left it all out there.  But maybe I didn't?  The fact that I was able to run a decent 10K last night in about 50 mins makes me think otherwise.  Yes, my friends, I ran 6.2 miles last night and felt pretty damn good.  My legs aren't quite "springy" but they aren't sore and tired.

Thankfully I have the Relay to look forward to this weekend otherwise I think my ego would be in a world of hurt.  All the chatter about all the fun we 12 are going to have is so fun to get excited about!  I even had a Relay dream last night!  But what about next week when I truly will be without a race to run for a few weeks?  I have been searching for my next race, maybe a half, and all my weekends seem to be filling up with non-running items I just can't get out of.  I know that I'm going to have to find something to race, I WANT/NEED to race again.  I need some redemption.  SF full is a definite go, and hopefully that will give me the satisfaction I'm craving from the Marathon.  But until then, I have to find a new race to give myself some positive feedback.  If you don't recall, I've been on kind-of a bad race streak.  Starting with the wretched cold I had for the Shamrockin' half in March and that crap half marathon in February.  I need to go out and succeed!

I know we can't all have wonderful race experiences.  I was bound to have a crappy streak of races after having such a kick ass year last year.  But it does still hurt.  When you know in your heart that you're better than what that finish clock says, it hurts.

For now I'm going to embrace the excitement of the Relay this weekend and be grateful for the opportunity to be part of a team of really great peeps.  I'm going to go out and run again today, and find my running mojo.  I'm also going to leave my watch at home again and just run by feel.  I think I have been too caught up in time and distance and I need to get back to the place where I ran because I wanted to, not just because a training plan said I had to.  Don't get me wrong, like MANY of you, we NEED that spreadsheet to tell us what to do and relish in the excitement of accomplishing whatever little workout it gives us.  But sometimes we need to step back and get back to the real reason we run...because it makes us better people, it makes us better wives and husbands, it makes us better all around.

Now don't go worrying your pretty little heads about me.  I'm FINE!  In fact, I know what I'm feeling is completely normal!  In fact, count yourself lucky if you have never felt this way.  But don't think your day won't come.  All runners at one point or another will hit their running "mojo wall" and as a result will become better runners themselves once they get through it.  I have nothing really to complain about in my life.  Actually, I count myself quite blessed and lucky if all I have to worry about was some crappy marathon times.  I have a job, a wonderful, healthy family, and a husband and dog that care tons about me.  I'm pretty damn lucky. 

So, to all you peeps out there who have been so kind with your words and support, I have to thank you again.  I love knowing that in some small way, I'm not alone in my running.  I have all of you out there pounding the payment right along side of me in a way.  So, thank you.

I'm off to keep trying to catch up with all of you!  You've been busy my friends!  I may not comment on each, but I'm reading!
And I swear, the happy, peppy Katie will be back soon - I just needed to wallow for a bit :)
Happy Thursday and Happy Running peeps!
P.S. I will announce the winner of the core challenge tomorrow!  I've been a bad bloggy person, now I know why companies don't send me their shit to review and give away! Ha!