Thursday, April 29, 2010

Running Blues

I think I'm not alone in this, in fact I am sure I'm not alone in this.  But lately this week I have noticed I'm in kind-of a funk.  I couldn't quite pin point it, but I knew I just wasn't feelin' like my normal positive self.  I even went back and read my Big Sur Marathon recap and could tell my heart was just not in it.  I think I have a case of the running blues.

In case you're not familiar with this, and lucky if you're not, the following signs are classic examples of the running blues:
1. Just finished a big marathon and are sad that the excitement, build-up and training is over.
2. May have missed the time goals of above mentioned marathon which leads you to start rethinking why the heck you run at all.
3. Really want to go out and run but have no desire to lace up your running shoes - which by the way were last worn in your marathon.
4. You can spot every runner within a half mile distance and wish that was you.
5. Even shopping for running gear/clothes on line has lost its luster.

Now don't go worrying about me too much my friends.  I think I'm in this funk because like example #2, I had big expectations for myself and I fell short - way short.  I know I was dealt a really crappy hand for Boston, and then attempting to run a difficult course just six days later was not ideal, but when you train so hard and have a pretty decent training cycle, to have it all come up short can be a big blow.  I know I accomplished a lot.  Marathons 5 & 6 are done!  And I even pulled off times some only ever dream of.  But even all this self talk and reminding myself of what I did accomplish only goes so far before your mind wanders back to what could have been.

My legs are feeling pretty good this week.  I wasn't really too sore on Monday.  I was by no means in a position to run on Monday, but I wasn't necessarily feeling like I had just ran a marathon, or just ran a second marathon in just six days.  I can think back to my first few marathons and how sore I felt for days.  Maybe it was the "newbie" in me, maybe it was how I recovered right after finishing, but whatever the difference from then to now is, I definitely don't feel like I just ran a marathon and I"m disappointed in that.  In the moments after finishing on Sunday, I felt like I had left it all out there.  But maybe I didn't?  The fact that I was able to run a decent 10K last night in about 50 mins makes me think otherwise.  Yes, my friends, I ran 6.2 miles last night and felt pretty damn good.  My legs aren't quite "springy" but they aren't sore and tired.

Thankfully I have the Relay to look forward to this weekend otherwise I think my ego would be in a world of hurt.  All the chatter about all the fun we 12 are going to have is so fun to get excited about!  I even had a Relay dream last night!  But what about next week when I truly will be without a race to run for a few weeks?  I have been searching for my next race, maybe a half, and all my weekends seem to be filling up with non-running items I just can't get out of.  I know that I'm going to have to find something to race, I WANT/NEED to race again.  I need some redemption.  SF full is a definite go, and hopefully that will give me the satisfaction I'm craving from the Marathon.  But until then, I have to find a new race to give myself some positive feedback.  If you don't recall, I've been on kind-of a bad race streak.  Starting with the wretched cold I had for the Shamrockin' half in March and that crap half marathon in February.  I need to go out and succeed!

I know we can't all have wonderful race experiences.  I was bound to have a crappy streak of races after having such a kick ass year last year.  But it does still hurt.  When you know in your heart that you're better than what that finish clock says, it hurts.

For now I'm going to embrace the excitement of the Relay this weekend and be grateful for the opportunity to be part of a team of really great peeps.  I'm going to go out and run again today, and find my running mojo.  I'm also going to leave my watch at home again and just run by feel.  I think I have been too caught up in time and distance and I need to get back to the place where I ran because I wanted to, not just because a training plan said I had to.  Don't get me wrong, like MANY of you, we NEED that spreadsheet to tell us what to do and relish in the excitement of accomplishing whatever little workout it gives us.  But sometimes we need to step back and get back to the real reason we run...because it makes us better people, it makes us better wives and husbands, it makes us better all around.

Now don't go worrying your pretty little heads about me.  I'm FINE!  In fact, I know what I'm feeling is completely normal!  In fact, count yourself lucky if you have never felt this way.  But don't think your day won't come.  All runners at one point or another will hit their running "mojo wall" and as a result will become better runners themselves once they get through it.  I have nothing really to complain about in my life.  Actually, I count myself quite blessed and lucky if all I have to worry about was some crappy marathon times.  I have a job, a wonderful, healthy family, and a husband and dog that care tons about me.  I'm pretty damn lucky. 

So, to all you peeps out there who have been so kind with your words and support, I have to thank you again.  I love knowing that in some small way, I'm not alone in my running.  I have all of you out there pounding the payment right along side of me in a way.  So, thank you.

I'm off to keep trying to catch up with all of you!  You've been busy my friends!  I may not comment on each, but I'm reading!
And I swear, the happy, peppy Katie will be back soon - I just needed to wallow for a bit :)
Happy Thursday and Happy Running peeps!
P.S. I will announce the winner of the core challenge tomorrow!  I've been a bad bloggy person, now I know why companies don't send me their shit to review and give away! Ha!

33 comments:

Staci Dombroski said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Staci Dombroski said...

Good luck at the relay this weekend! I am so sorry to hear about the funk. That is an awesome 10K time :)

Katie said...

maybe I passed along the funk of the Katie's (sorry, didn't know it was contagious!!!). my blog is a mess of woe-is-me, too. i'm sending you some hugs, puppy kisses, and a margarita (or 3). feel better soon, and have a great run this weekend!!!

Angela and David Kidd said...

You know it, but I'll reiterate it. What you are experiencing is totally normal. There's always a big let down after a big event and you've been training hard and racing a ton. Just relax, let it pass, and everything will return to normal before you know it. Have fun this weekend.

TMB @ RACING WITH BABES said...

Bummer about the funk! I know you'll rebound quickly. In fact, I think you are going to have such a blast with the relay that come Monday you'll be fine! Hugs!

Melanie said...

Oh boy do I know.. I have felt the BLUES for the Marathon ever since last June... UGH!! So you could continue your Marathon miles and come to Rock N Roll Seattle and help me pace a 4 hour group. It is closed but I may be able to get you in.. Think about it... LOL!

Good luck this weekend buddy and thanks for the comments... Will text you when I am done....very quickly when I BQ :)

Melanie said...

That was Tall Mom... Forgot I was logged into my Gmail..

Sarah said...

Snap out of it! :)Love you! Lets run together soon when your relay and everything is all done.

Morgan said...

The relay is going to be such a random crazy experience that it is exactly what you need in this moment to find your mojo again! I def can relate though, after Gasparilla I got pretty down and out and truth be told, with this whole Lankle issue and no races on deck til I start training for #3 have me stressing out. I NEED a spreadsheet!!! :)

Chin up and have a blast this weekend, don't forget to pack febreeze and baby wipes, they will be your best friends! Also if you ever need to vent you have my phone/email. xoxo

aron said...

hang in there girlie - this is TOTALLY normal after any big life event, but especially one that didn't go as well as you hoped.

i am going to play devils advocate here and ask if you have thought about taking a break from training for marathons for a month or two? i know you were burned out after fresno too going into CIM, and i know from my personal experience that pushing through to yet another marathon training cycle isn't always the answer. running should be fun! sure we don't always love to get out there and run every single time, but i think making sure to get back to that point is so important, otherwise its just not worth it.

BUT you know yourself the best and know your goals and what you want to accomplish and i have no doubt you will do great training for SFM... that being said its just only 12 weeks away and can be daunting mentally, physically and emotionally going into training already feeling this way. just my two cents :) you know i will be cheering for you big time in EVERY race you do and hope we get to do some of the same ones soon!!! trail race?!?!

i hope none of that came off bad or know it all or anything like that because it was NOT meant that way, i am just trying to look at it from another angle because you're my girl! SO EXCITED for this weekend though! we are going to have a blast and can't wait to hang out again <3

Denise said...

funny...we both pretty much at the same # of marathons (I'm one behind you cause i don't count the ultras) had great 2009's and are in a little funk this year. we'll snap out of it!! not every race can be a bq, right?

is it possible you're burnt out from over training? i know the let down of the marathons don't help but you've been going like nuts none stop...maybe you need a little break and an easy week of zen running.

simplyrunningonfaith said...

I just got back from Ragnar Relay this weekend! I, too, was going through some ughh running moments and I hadn't even done two marathons so close like you (Props!!). What helped me was taking this little break from training and having a FUN RUN weekend with people I didn't even know. To see their enthusiasm and support for running, well, it really reignited mine and what my goals are. I am positive that you will have your moments when you are a source of inspiration for others, and when they are a source for yours during this weekend. Have such a wonderful time out there :) I will be thinking of your team for sure!

Heidi said...

I had the same thing after running my first half last month that went completely awry. I was so ready, so pumped to rock it and my body decided otherwise. It was a huge disappointment and I fell into a huge funk for the next couple weeks. It was hard to snap out of.

With this bad streak in your pocket, it's got to be time SOON for you to have a streak of great races. Your time will come.

Jill said...

Sweetie, you just need a trip to Denver to kickstart our consecutive 4 marathons, that'll cure your blues!! LOVE YA!!!

teacherwoman said...

Sorry to hear about the running blues. But, good luck in the Relay this weekend!

ShutUpandRun said...

I just read your BSM race report and I can't tell you how impressed I am that you were puking and just kept going. Amazing. That takes more guts and ambition than getting any PR. As for feeling a little burned out - yep, I think it's par for the course when you've been training hard and have been sick. Take a break, take a break and learn to love it all over again!

Evolving Through Running said...

Sorry to hear about the blues, but they too shall pass. The one positive thing I've found about being injured, now that I'm slowly getting back to running, is that running is the biggest thing that gets me out of a funk. It's all about context I suppose. Hope you find your mojo soon.

runningcommentaries said...

I think it might be time for a break. It's easy to get burned out and physiologically a break will allow your body to absorb all the training you've done the last year or so. Nothing major, but just run for fun for awhile. You don't want to burn out on something that you clearly love. Just my 2 cents but breaks do help!

Whitney said...

Good luck with your relay this weekend. Hanging out with your running buddies should help you recover and find the fun in running again!

t.a.o said...

Regardless of your time, you were awesome for pushing through on both races. The fact that you didn't give up is way better than logging a kick ass time.

When I run my race this weekend and I feel like keeling over and dying, your story will inspire me to keep on moving. Thank you, and not to worry, your mojo is on his way back! : )

Tricia said...

have fun this weekend!

MCM Mama said...

You are totally right - the funk is normal and it will pass. Hope this weekend helps you continue to take steps in that direction! If nothing else, have FUN! ;o)

Tara said...

Dude...not you too! I just read Meg's post the other day about HER being in a funk too. Please tell me I'm not going to be sad and depressed after this dang marathon!

You go out and have fun this weekend. K? Get rid of those Katie Blues.

Steel Springs said...

Sorry about the lack of running mojo. The relay this weekend will be a wonderful time and a great reminder of the fun of running.

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

the only time I've really ad this was after the Nike Womens which just went really horribly for me, now for the most part I just seem to enjoy them...so fingers crossed for Seattle!

Teamarcia said...

I totally understand your funk. You'll be back, I'm not worried. In the meantime go out there and have a blast at the relay! Super fun! Cannot wait to hear all about it! xoxo

Jennifer said...

I understand your blues! I refer to this as runners depression. I just got over a bought this past week after a half marathon I ran in March. To get over it, I made a pre-training training plan for a marathon in November. Being back on a schedule got me back on track! I think I just like to cross of days. haha.

Good luck!

N.D. said...

sorry you are in a funk - I know you'll be out of it soon :)

Sam Felsenfeld said...

You and me both with the funk, huh? Mine had to do with things other than running, but I was miserable. I'm doing a lot better now ... I hope you can say the same. The relay should be a lot of fun for you this weekend and get you back on track. I've never done one, but I know they're a ton of fun.

Jamoosh said...

Elton John said it the best: You need to grow some funk of your own.

Heather said...

I have been in that funk before - hope you get out of it soon!

shellyrm aka jogging stroller mama said...

I am reading post backwards so I already know that Happy Katie is back...I am so glad. I think there is often a let down after a big event, even when we do well it happens.

You were not alone at all.

LPT said...

I TOTALLY agree with you! I understand how you feel. I was totally disappointed after my marathon in February. I wasn't proud of myself AT ALL because I felt like I'd fallen so short of what I'm capable of.

Just keep truckin' and you'll have a BLAST at the relay! I'm still posting my recap from this weekend's Cape Relay!