Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Heart

Runners have to have heart.  And I know this sounds really cliché, but it's true.  They say that running is 90% physical and 10% mental.  I believe that the more efficient runner you become, the part that is mental increases - from maybe 85/15 or even 80/20.  We all have obstacles that grind at us as we head out the door for a run.  We all have days were running just seems like a chore.  But it is on the days where the stars align and it just feels effortless - that is what we all look for every time we go for a run.

Right now I feel like my heart is not in my running.  Last night I had a miserable FAIL on my run.  I really wanted to do six miles but I ended up only being able to pull off 5.  My mind was telling me to just go home, take a rest day.  My legs felt like LEAD, my mind was all over the place.  I am a  bit of a stress case with Thanksgiving tomorrow, as I am sure you all have gathered from a few of my posts.  But on top of that I am having some major stomach issues.  I went to the doctor yesterday because I have had a constant pain in my stomach right bellow my sternum.  It is making running uncomfortable; it is making working uncomfortable; it is just plain making my life uncomfortable.  Well, it might be an ulcer the doctor thinks and on top of everything else I have to do today I need to go in for a few tests to see what the culprit is.  When I think about it, it could totally be an ulcer.  I stress about work, I stressed about my BQ, I am now stressing about CIM.  I am probably a prime candidate - I will keep you all updated.

Which brings me to CIM.  I don't want to run it.  My heart is just not in it.  I am not sure if it is because I have already got my BQ and I don't have any pressure, or if it is because I am so burned out from racing.  My hubbs thinks that the more I don't want to run it the better I will do.  I had a few half marathons this fall that I just didn't want to run when I got to the starting line.  But both of those races I had PR's.  He thinks I will run faster just to get it over with.  My running is still pretty consistent.  Even though my legs were heavy and so was my heart last night, I still managed 8:00 miles the whole way, finishing my run in 40:01.  And when I think about it, I really wasn't trying.  I was just moving along - with what felt like a shuffle.  It makes me think, if my mental "A" game is there what I could be doing with race times just blows me away.  My efficiency as a runner has gotten better, now I need to work on that 15-20% that is mental.

We all have ups and downs in our running.  I think that I am just burnt out and my heart isn't in it.  It is such a weird concept for me.  I LOVE TO RUN!  I love everything about it.  I love the "runner's high" I get from awesome runs and races.  I really am addicted to it.  When I am in a particularly bad mood my hubbs will tell me to go for a run.  He knows it is a cure all.  But lately it hasn't been serving it's purpose and that bothers me.  I need to get out of my head and go back to one foot in front of the other.

I have 11 days to find my heart until CIM.  I really want to go but my legs and mind think 26.2 is REALLY long.  But there are gonna be a bunch of bloggy peeps there, I have the opportunity to become a Maniac, and let's face it, I really LOVE my medals.  I have a 10K tomorrow along with a turkey dinner to cook.  I am going to savor those 45 mins of running and use it to keep me sane instead of the bottles of wine I picked up yesterday. :)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving peeps.  If you're traveling, have a safe trip.  If you're dealing with fam, good luck.  Get out and enjoy your runs.  That is my new Rx for what is ailing my runs.  I have heart, I just need to find it again.

Happy Running peeps! :)

13 comments:

RunToTheFinish said...

SOOO interesting!! My legs have felt awful lately and during the week I just can't pull out longer runs like I want to. Then my weekend long run rolls around and I"m good to go. I don't know what the deal is...and I really don't want to run this marathon either. :) I am ready to just run for me again, that's when I really love my runs...so in two weeks the race is done and teh fun is on

Morgan said...

Girl you have got to do what is best for you! Listen to your heart, your head and your legs and whatever decision you make in the end is the right one.

Jess said...

The cliche is true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Take a running break after CIM and in a few weeks, you'll be yearning for running again!

aron said...

you have been a racing machine the passed few months, my heart would be lacking too. hang in there, we are soo close!

Heather said...

Take a break! I agree with Jess - absence makes the heart grow fonder. Taking a little time off will do wonders for both your heart and your legs. And have a Happy Thanksgiving too. :)

runningcommentaries said...

You have raced a TON lately-- I think this is normal. Think about Ryan Hall-- he did crappy in Beijing after doing really well in London and at Trials because it was just too many build ups and peaks.

Don't be afraid to take a lot of rest next week. You can't help yourself for CIM, you can only hurt it. Or really, you don't HAVE to run it. It woudl be fun to have you, but don't feel pressure to.

shellyrm said...

I hope you can find a clear answer for whether or nit to run CIM. That's a lot of work to not start the race but you have to find your answer.

Then I think a pressure break is in store. Just run for the joy of running. Like you said, find that one foot in front of the other!!

TMB said...

Listen to your gut ... sometimes you just need a break. Maybe tomorrow's 10K will give you some perspective. Just go out and have fun!

Happy Thanksgiving!

N.D. said...

That's a tough one. You already ran an awesome BQ.. maybe you can run CIM for total fun only? This was my problem for Philly. My heart wasn't there. And what happened: it sucked. I think you'd do awesome still but listen to your heart!

Jenn said...

I so don't envy what you're feeling right now! You're racing schedule was crazy this year!!! Getting that BQ was a culmination of SO much!! I don't know the answers but I do know it'll turn around! Good luck on your race tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best. Maybe you could use the 45 minutes of running AND the bottles of wine to keep you sane! That's what I'd do!! Happy Thanksgiving!

The Linz said...

Hey Katie - I am paired up with you on the HBBC and thought I would comeover and say hello. I can understand how you feel sometimes when your heart is not in it. I do hope that you feel better - and I wish you luck on the HBBC! I hope we can motivate each other through this next month!

Angela and David Kidd said...

If you think you are a burnt out, you probably are. I am right there with you. Right now my heart just isn't in it. I think you have to just let it go for a little while and the heart will come back. So following my own advice, I am off to eat more chocolate.

Christina said...

I feel like I could have written that post. I love to run but haven't been into it and yet, I just managed a PR at a Turkey Trot. I do have more confidence now and hope it stays with me.

Are you feeling blah being in a taper too? I know many people feel blah during their taper.

Good luck.