Runners have to have heart. And I know this sounds really cliché, but it's true. They say that running is 90% physical and 10% mental. I believe that the more efficient runner you become, the part that is mental increases - from maybe 85/15 or even 80/20. We all have obstacles that grind at us as we head out the door for a run. We all have days were running just seems like a chore. But it is on the days where the stars align and it just feels effortless - that is what we all look for every time we go for a run.
Right now I feel like my heart is not in my running. Last night I had a miserable FAIL on my run. I really wanted to do six miles but I ended up only being able to pull off 5. My mind was telling me to just go home, take a rest day. My legs felt like LEAD, my mind was all over the place. I am a bit of a stress case with Thanksgiving tomorrow, as I am sure you all have gathered from a few of my posts. But on top of that I am having some major stomach issues. I went to the doctor yesterday because I have had a constant pain in my stomach right bellow my sternum. It is making running uncomfortable; it is making working uncomfortable; it is just plain making my life uncomfortable. Well, it might be an ulcer the doctor thinks and on top of everything else I have to do today I need to go in for a few tests to see what the culprit is. When I think about it, it could totally be an ulcer. I stress about work, I stressed about my BQ, I am now stressing about CIM. I am probably a prime candidate - I will keep you all updated.
Which brings me to CIM. I don't want to run it. My heart is just not in it. I am not sure if it is because I have already got my BQ and I don't have any pressure, or if it is because I am so burned out from racing. My hubbs thinks that the more I don't want to run it the better I will do. I had a few half marathons this fall that I just didn't want to run when I got to the starting line. But both of those races I had PR's. He thinks I will run faster just to get it over with. My running is still pretty consistent. Even though my legs were heavy and so was my heart last night, I still managed 8:00 miles the whole way, finishing my run in 40:01. And when I think about it, I really wasn't trying. I was just moving along - with what felt like a shuffle. It makes me think, if my mental "A" game is there what I could be doing with race times just blows me away. My efficiency as a runner has gotten better, now I need to work on that 15-20% that is mental.
We all have ups and downs in our running. I think that I am just burnt out and my heart isn't in it. It is such a weird concept for me. I LOVE TO RUN! I love everything about it. I love the "runner's high" I get from awesome runs and races. I really am addicted to it. When I am in a particularly bad mood my hubbs will tell me to go for a run. He knows it is a cure all. But lately it hasn't been serving it's purpose and that bothers me. I need to get out of my head and go back to one foot in front of the other.
I have 11 days to find my heart until CIM. I really want to go but my legs and mind think 26.2 is REALLY long. But there are gonna be a bunch of bloggy peeps there, I have the opportunity to become a Maniac, and let's face it, I really LOVE my medals. I have a 10K tomorrow along with a turkey dinner to cook. I am going to savor those 45 mins of running and use it to keep me sane instead of the bottles of wine I picked up yesterday. :)
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving peeps. If you're traveling, have a safe trip. If you're dealing with fam, good luck. Get out and enjoy your runs. That is my new Rx for what is ailing my runs. I have heart, I just need to find it again.
Happy Running peeps! :)